Wednesday, December 29, 2010

myself, sounds pathetic

have you ever feel failed?
failed in anything,
anything you wished you can make it right.

even though I know that I won't givin up,
but still,
I'm freaking out as hell to see
whether I can make it better,
or I just screw things up.

can I have my life in the future just like I already planned it?
or I'm just too busy making a plan?


been through a hard day, huh?
yeah me too.
I know it's hard for both of us.

I'm sorry for being such a horrible selfish girl you never wished to have.

but every little thing we've had,
every horrible stupid even sad times we've had,
as long as we through it all together,
insyaAllah I'm sure we can through it well.
as long as we're together,
we can through anything way better than
when we're apart.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

silly thought *blushing*

I found it a bit hard to believe.
to believe the fact that
I really fall for you.

it may sounds funny,
but it's true,
it's unbelieveable *laughing*

I had my type,
but ever since the day
I remembered I givin up
looking for a "type",
then you came.

being such a horrible person back there,
'til now actually.

but you got me in,
to anything I was never imagined
I could be in to.

and now,
I'm all in to you,
and I thank you for that :)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

high reality

dont get too high
dont get too exciting
dont get too satistfied

cause just in case,
you didnt really see reality
on the highest point in life

Saturday, December 25, 2010


there are several things on earth
that you can't really explain it
by words

and when it comes to you,

well at first,
I could explain
every little thing about you
with words, bunch of words

but noooww..
I found it hard to explain,
even to believe,
that I'm running out of words,
words about you,
words to explain,
not how I feel about you..

but I'm running out of
words to explain
how you make me feel

p.s. but it could also be changed later, due to this picture :p

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

thing I learned from the movie "the blind side"

I feel so grateful with my life today,
and praise the Lord for that.
I wish everybody else
also feels the same way I do.

I work hard for where I am today,
and thanks my parents for that.
I wish everybody else
also worked as hard as I did.

I must be so lucky
to be who I am today.
I wish everybody else
also feels as lucky as I do.

luck is not the thing you want to have,
but luck is the thing you should try to have.
or maybe,
luck is the thing you should try to share,
to make everybody feels the same way you do.

mereka bicara nasionalisme

we're all proud with our nationality

tetapi untuk kalian,
yang bangga dengan pengakuan kalian..
sebagai seorang nasionalis.

begitu banyak orang bodoh di negerimu,
mengapa kau diam saja?

begitu banyak orang kehilangan kesempatan di negerimu,
mengapa kau hanya tetap berbicara?

begitu banyak orang yang meminta pertolonganmu,
mengapa kau hanya tersenyum dan bangga?

dan dengan banyaknya saudaramu di negerimu yang terlupakan,
lalu mengapa kau menutup mata dan tetap memilih untuk lupa?

pengakuan nasionalisme itu bullshit!
kita tidak harus mengaku diri kita nasionalis,
jika yang kita lakukan hanya duduk dan bicara nasionalisme.
semua orang bisa bicara nasionalisme.

tapi tanyakan pada mereka,
mereka yang mengaku nasionalis..
apa yang sudah mereka lakukan untuk saudara-saudara mereka satu nation?

nasionalisme itu tindakan, bukanlah sekedar ideologi,
yang membuat orang sombong untuk hanya sekedar mengetahuinya!

Friday, December 17, 2010

for my brother's ex-girlfriend

you know, it's been real fun to have you for almost like 3 years in my family. I really think my brother has picked the best girl for being his girlfriend, cause I swear you guys looked real good together and you're also acting real nice for everyone in my family, so that's why it felt so easy for us to loved you.

but then, as we all knew that my brother just made a super horrible mistake by letting you down, and by letting you go. cause later he realized that it's not easy, seriously not easy for him to find another you!

I know it's been over three years for us since you left and since you had another boyfriend (just a couple days after you broke up with my brother). well maybe it looks pretty much easy for you to just to remember your past with my brother, I mean, I know its your past, you don't have to forget it, and let it just be your past.

here, you should know, nothing really change after that march 2008. nothing's really changed, it's been still you all around us, it's always been you he's looking for, it's always been you he's talking about, it's always been you the only past he can't get rid of, it's always been you the only girl he asked, it's always been you the only girl he loved.

actually I'd like to say the same thing also to my brother, that it WAS his PAST, and he has to LET IT GO! but I just can't seem to find the right girl to be with him, like you. I want someone like you, to be with him. I know that you are the perfect girl for him, even though I know that he might probably not the perfect guy for you. but let us just see it as something perfect, like you complete his unperfection, and let him cheer up your perfect life, so both of you won't ever get bored.

thing I don't really understand about love is about to let them go, just let it go away. I don't really have a sense of being such a high pathetical person in love, I mean, when it comes to over, then over, it must be something behind the "over" words, right? but I learned something from you guys, something that I called it finding the perfect person. I didn't know much about love, for me love is joy, so when I'm no longer feel happiness in me, so it means I don't feel love.

but from you guys, I knew, that the perfect person won't come to you twice (well, it could be twice, but maybe it'll take years for it) and you should think like a thousand times to end something you really like, you really enjoy, you really love.

seriously, I really enjoyed the time we had together as a family, even only for a while, but I loved it. maybe people should try to discover something else, something even more worth the life, something you can't really explain. but if you could tell me something, something that could bring you guys back together again, than just tell me, cause I'll do it!

for me, finding the right girl for my brother is a really big deal, cause I do think that you're the only perfect girl for him, and none else could replaced, you're just too lovely to be replaced :'(

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

bubble gum

loving you is like a sport
we got to get use to it
before we finally loved it

but loving you
is not like a gum
which sweet at first
and plain at last

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

for the unknown

look at you lately,
makes me wondering
what's exactly that you want
by doing all of those stuffs?

if any of those moments you spent wondering
whether I've ever felt bad or not,
then I'll give you the honest answer
that I do regret it all,
until now.

but in the other moments you also spent to wonder
I asked you what's exactly did you want,
then you gave me no exact answer,
confused me, also
until now.

my lovely ten

sometimes I just can't believe
that it's been over 2 years
since we graduated from
high school.

those high school years,
times when we traveled
any minutes together,
times when we spent
each of those silly days,

I just can't seem to believe,
to realize,
to let it go,
to just let it be a part
of one of the best time
of my life.

all of those happiness,
silly, stupid, successfull
times we'd had.

then look at us today
we've been through
such a different kind of life
different kind of place
different kind of view

but I still feel you girls
here, in my heart.

I know it sounds so lame
sounds so "not me"
but you know,
deep inside,
everytime I see our picture
I still (alway) feel
like I just don't want to let it go
I don't want to let
all of those times we've had
just go away

I love you girls
in eny words
people could explain
you are the bestfriends
God ever gave me :)

nyanyian bumi

aku percaya
suara itu doa
seperti aku percaya
bahwa, udara itu surga

aku tau
tidak ada yang abadi
seperti aku tau
bahwa hidup akan selalu begini

seperti bumi

bumi yang bernyanyi
dalam surgawi
bumi yang mengelilingi
dalam abadi

biarkan aku tetap disini
tetap di bumi
dengan semua nyanyian
yang mengelilingi

note for the young age :)

we’re all equal in God’s eyes
we’re all equal as a human being
but that’s what wise people said about human life.
but God won’t ever gives you anything, unless you work for it,
work for anything you wished you could have to feel equal.

Nelson Mandela, as a representative of the real life, said that
“it wasn’t lack of ability that limited our people, but lack of opportunity”
but opportunity also won’t ever comes to you, unless you try,
try to catch them.

some people could be so grateful to have everything
they needed
they wanted
they dreamed
they wished
and it wouldn’t take so long after they just said it.

but it only happened for SOME people!

look at you today,
you don’t have to do much for others,
just do something for yourself.

people should have the highest dream for their life,
and they should also try their hardest to make it all true.
and even though you keep thinking that you’re nothing today,
just keep believing that you can do anything, stay focus, stay happy,
then you’ll be something someday!

“it is human nature to try out daring new methods, if they fail, they fail. admit it! Move on to try something else, cause the important thing is that YOU NEVER GIVE UP!”
in the young age, we got no time to giving up.
cause we only got time to keep trying,
to keep learning from every mistake we’ve done.

so keep believing in God,
keep trying to catch the opportunity,
stay focus,
stay happy,
and om Arie said
“don’t ever give up, cause you are the one who work for your life”

you know you’re not alone,
and you should know that
you won’t be alone :)

I probably get lost

I’ve been around this city for almost 3 years,
When I thought it was forever.
I’ve been in the place like home,
When I thought it was only an unconditional shelter.
I’ve been in the arms of brother,
When I thought he’s just a big fat liar.
I’ve surrounded by so many friends,
When I thought there’s none.
But I’ve been in the place where I belong,
When I thought the place was here.
But now I know that I was wrong.

I think I must be so lucky for being here,
(my best friends know better how happy I am to be here)
but that excitement didn’t last forever,
not even long.
This place is so empty, feels so lonely,
I feel like where’ve I been?
I can barely find the people that I used to had before.
Things are getting so different day by day.

Even though I know that I have something that I called them “family” in here,
But as soon as I get home,
The only family that I have is only myself,
my long distance family,
and the girls who live way across this city.
So, where are the people in here?
They’ve probably gone.

I missed my old place,
The place where I (probably) belong.
I missed all of my friends,
the person who can always cheering up my mood.
I do really miss my life back there