I just couldn't help myself but not to take too many glances on her. I was putting my eyes on her all the time hoping she won't recognise or being annoyed by my appearance in that tiny space. She was eating slow, I heard once when she called the waitress and it was probably the lowest voice I have ever heard people talking in Russia. I barely heard what she was saying. And it almost made me want to cry. I miss Oma even more.
As she finished her lunch, she made a slow moves to stand up and as I watched her out, I saw her taking a маршру́тка, alone. She opened the door herself, made a slow move to get in, and gone. I would love to know more about people like her, I would love to spend the rest of my life being such a lovely companion for an old person who has almost none left to accompany them for their meal-time. Cause they always remind me of Oma (who passed away 3 years ago, and I don't think I spent enough time with her, I don't think I accompanied her enough). My parents, who someday will be so old and I just don't want them to feel alone, and I'm afraid I will make them feel that way cause I don't seem to have enough time to be around.
I know that's why we need to leave home sometime, even just for lunch.
After we finished our lunch, we took a short walk to our fav park. And it turned out that we were not the only one who thought today was a good day to be outside, all of the benches were taken and only two left. Since we had no plan to get our skin tanned, we only stayed there for not more than 10 minutes until we decided to take another маршру́тка to Во́лга.
It was quite a lovely day almost for like everyone who lives in Astrakhan, so Volga was full of people, in Thursday. We had a sit on a first bench that caught our eyes and started to enjoy the wind and the cute view in front of our eyes, by cute I mean there were a lot of families who brought their cute children to hang around the park and I was pleased to be there to enjoy their enjoyment, once again.
And again, there was an old man sitting next to our bench trying to enjoy the same thing as we do. He puts some papers out of his bag and tries to read them. He also tried to strengthen his legs as the picnic-train passed us.
It was about 8 pm when we finally decided to go home. Along the path, we saw an old couple who were hanging around with their grandson and the pops was encouraging the baby to run faster and catch the picnic-train. I could tell he was about 1,5 or 2. And it was funny to see him run. And it was lovely to see families having a good time together.
I had a great day. You know it feels hard to stay sane when you feel like you can't put yourself together when things started to falling apart around you. I honestly need someone to make me feel calm, I need a warm hug, and I need to see beauty, to make me feel alive again.