I remain grateful.
It's been four months since I came here and a lot have happened, yet still.. happy days are the hardest. I actually came here often, I've been putting out so many words but then I got lost in the middle and quit. It's hard to read your mind when you still don't know which piece is missing. And you know what? I got the scholarship! I'm halfway to get to the place he had always been, the place he often asked me to visit and only when he's no longer there that I'm about to make it. Now, you see how frustrating it makes me. I remember seven years ago when he emailed me telling that he got the scholarship and he's coming back. A few days after I also got an email saying I got that Russian scholarship. I didn't have the guts tell him on email, instead I told him when we talked. On the letter he gave me before my departure, he wrote me I have missed you in America, now I am going to miss you in Indonesia . It just seems impossible to write anything without ...