Where Are We?

Oh hi, I honestly have not much in mind but I feel like writing something, so here I am. I just recently bought a new bike! Woohoo.. that was fun. I haven't ridden a bike since the end of 2016. My butt hurts, but I need to start moving my ass during this quarantine, otherwise by the time this is over I'd look like a pig. It feels weird to drive again after days using the bike as my main transport haha I know, that's too much.  I talked to Yenny the other day. It was 3,5 hours of deep conversation on the phone, something we rarely do. We talked about so many things; about how our best friend is the reflection of ourselves, about being honest, about letting go, acceptance, about catching opportunity, spending ramadan together as none of us could gather with our family, and stuff. But among all else, as one of those people who know me best, she gave me a clear advice about how to go on living, and about taking the control back while doing it. Yenny knows exactly...

In the midst of quarantine life, I managed to get a few drinks last Saturday night. The drinking outside part at times like this was funny, yet the aftermath was horrible. Next month marks a year of Garik's departure, and the memory of it haunts me every single day. My mind lingers around the only question of why did you leave me? If you've been following my blog, nothing else I talked about after he left but him. The life I have to live without him. It's strange, it's empty, and it makes me cry often. I've never got my heart broken before, I've been through several breakups and nothing felt closely like this. It was easier when you have to go to office, work to do, meeting people was hard at times but it mostly helped. They were an amazing distraction, at least you'd come home tired and got not much energy left but to eat some fruits, had a few talks, then go to bed. But not during quarantine like this, you have the whole time for yourself. I've ...

It feels like I just wrote the same title yesterday. I remember feeling so hopeful to meet 2020, new energy, new plans, was waiting for my article to be published, just got back from year-end holiday with my parents. Now it's been almost four months after that day, and here we are, all doomed. Just so you know, the world has recently been hit by the disastrous Coronavirus. It makes me want to cry just to mention its name. We're basically on lockdown, almost everywhere in the world. I honestly don't know how long this will last and it's making me really nervous just to think about it. I haven't gone to office for a month now? Yea, I think it's been a month. And it's killing me. I never thought I'd need my office this much. Now I know, I can't be unemployed, there's no way I would survive being jobless. And now, instead of fearing the virus, I get more frightened by my mental health. It's getting worse. Of course, what do you expect. I...